The next important factor in any match is location. I could match with someone right now in Australia, but unless I am in Australia then it doesn't help me begin a relationship. I may consider flying to Australia to meet my match but then can I sustain my match and help us grow? Well of course that depends on the two individuals involved, their circumstances, position, age, regularity of meeting and planned future. The reality as we know for single people is that long distance matches tend not to work unless both parties come together quite quickly after meeting. I agree that some long distance matches do and will work really well, but it is not the norm. So what I am arguing here is that when we look at who we match with, let's be reasonably certain that our locality to those we meet and match with allows for a relationship to develop. Whilst I may meet someone in Los Angeles who is perfect for me, unless I am prepared to move, visit often or relocate then maybe my match is not my best choice for me.
One thing often overlooked in matching with someone is humour. Yes we often specify that someone must have a great sense of humour. And everyone reading this will say, yes they have a great sense of humour. To them! And that's the killer qualifier. The sense of humour in a high quality match between two people is where it is shared and unquantifiable. Where the humour is at a subtly understood level is essential. What makes one person laugh does not make another person laugh. And yet I watch so many people co exist without every laughing together and it makes me sad. A solid relationship will have moments where common laughter is essential, where the sense of humour between two people is almost unspoken. That I believe is one of the key ingredients in any true match. You may really be attracted to someone but of they don't make you laugh you may be wasting your time.
Background sometimes has an influence in a good matching scenario because it has prepared you both with similar social experiences and belief systems. This may be true of schooling, parental experiences, locations lived in, travel undertaken, or even just activities and sports accomplished. This is a wide area and there are no definites but we do know from decades of surveys and evidence that people do tend to stay romantically within their own social strata. This means that people stay with those who they feel most comfortable with. This may be because their common experience and understanding promotes the feeling of a good match.
Outlook on life really is underestimated. If you both have the same goals in life you may make a great match. If you have differing career goals, travel plans, ambitions and personal goals, you could be wasting your time together. There is a huge temptation to offer to compromise when you really meet someone you feel you match with. This may be the wrong thing to do. Because what you are doing is compromising for now. You haven't solved anything that is important to you, you have simply put it on hold. It may come back to haunt you. Then again you may feel terribly happy to move to San Diego, relocate to Seattle, or cohabit in Anchorage. Often life has no set paths and so this could be perfect to allow the match to develop properly. But the reality is that you both should hold some common opinions and values, maybe in terms of religion, social beliefs or simple views on life and children. Whatever it is, the more you share, the stronger your match is likely to be.
So in the end we meet someone. We like the look of them and they like the look of us, we laugh and chat together, we build an emotional link through conversation and knowledge and we are attracted to each other on multiple levels. We find we have a shared experience through our backgrounds and we share similar outlook on life and oh yes, we live in the same neighbourhood. Match made in heaven? Possibly and possibly not. Love is not just about matching, it is about instant chemistry, something enigmatic and mysterious, not quantifiable. For all the right reasons we can fall in love in an instant with the wrong people and then again, we can simply not find it within us to love someone who appears so right.
And for that, I have no answer.
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